Diary of a Homeschool Mom #3 Am I Enough?
September 18th, 2025
When I first started homeschooling my oldest in kindergarten last year, I felt like every day was a failure. There were fights, attitudes, unwillingness to do the work, or simply just obstinacy surrounding school. It was rough; I asked myself daily if I was making the right choice. Why it was so hard, and is public school an option to consider?
When we first agreed to homeschool (my husband and I), it really seemed like a no-brainer. He was homeschooled, pulled from public school, and really enjoyed his experience. I was public schooled, and while I did enjoy my elementary years, I was quickly disillusioned as I got older and really dreaded going to school. Especially high school. I faced bullying, I myself was a bully as well, and I was exposed to a lot of inappropriate content through other kids. It seemed smart to me to keep my kids with me, get more time with them, protect them from seeing horrifying imagery too soon, and have that time to teach them about Jesus and instill a solid foundation of Christian faith. I didn’t stop to think that it might be the most difficult thing I would ever do, and I am including childbirth on this list!
My issue was that I personally was unprepared. Now I am not talking about curriculum, what I was going to teach and use, but rather about attitude and spirit. I had spent many hours researching which curriculum to use, and I’ll be honest, a lot of my choice was driven by cost. We had settled on The Good and the Beautiful because it was a mild Christian curriculum and affordable. And no, this is not going to be a “Don’t use this curriculum” post or me bashing TGTB because, despite switching, I still really love them as a curriculum company and will recommend them to other Christian families looking for an affordable option. I will warn family, though, this is a gentle YET intense curriculum. After switching, I had been concerned with my child being behind, and well, she jumped to 2nd grade reading and English, and is racing through her math and science as well. In hindsight, I probably should have ordered 2nd grade for everything.
I’m going off on a tangent, though, and if you really want to know my thoughts on which curriculum to choose, that is for another post. It really is just dependent on the family and their needs. I went into homeschooling, though, well-versed in curriculum and its content and price points. I had no idea how to teach. I mean, I KNOW how to teach; that really wasn’t the issue. It was that I didn’t know how to teach with any level of patience or understanding. That is really where I was unprepared. And oh boy, did I get a crash course lesson in that. Our first few weeks of homeschool were miserable.
Fast forward to this year, and after getting the hang of things, I was expecting it to be a breeze. Plot twist: Once you add a second child into the homeschool line-up, things change. Big time. I was spread too thin, constantly chasing after 3 kids and caring for a newborn. I was beginning to feel the same stress, the same inadequacy. While I am not ashamed to admit this, my first response was to change the curriculum. We ended up with BJUpress, and while I love them, I truly wish that I had spent some time in prayer before making this leap. This is not a regret for the curriculum, as we were always going to change what we used, and BJUpress was high on the list for us. I regret not trusting the Lord in this aspect, trusting that through him I was enough and that it wasn’t about curriculum but about me and my intentions to homeschool.
BJUpress has been great for us, though admittedly still rocky at first as well. What finally got me to a place where I feel like I can do this was implementing a morning bible study with the kids, an evening devotional and prayer time with the kids, and spending my time now praying and reading my bible. This is what really changed things for me; this is what helped me get past that thought process in my head and realize that I am capable of teaching my kids through the strength that Christ gives me. This is my mission, and it is the most important one. Through Jesus, I am capable.
If I could tell other Christian homeschool moms one thing, it would be this: don’t discount Jesus. It sounds simple. You’re a Christian, so this should be a given. But I often find (sadly) that I neglect Jesus in the mundane. Thinking it’s not important and that I need to do things alone. This is not true; the mundane is not so mundane, and God is always there for me, even in homeschool. So homeschooling is where I am at now, and while I still think “this is hard, I don’t know if I can do this,” I know I can keep going, and I know that my reasons for homeschooling and Christ really help me to keep on showing up for my kids.
